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How to Run Away Intelligently

Last Updated: August 7, 2024 Fact Checked

This article was co-authored by Sabrina Grover, LMSW . Sabrina Grover, LMSW is a Licensed Master Social Worker (LMSW) who earned her degree in Advanced Clinical Practice from New York University. Sabrina has experience working in substance abuse recovery centers and schools where she gained experience providing evidence-based treatment to children, adolescents, adults, and families. Sabrina specializes in Dialectical, Narrative, and Cognitive Behavioral Therapies. She has particular expertise in treating clients struggling with grief, complex trauma, interpersonal difficulty, family conflict, anxiety, and depression. She commits to providing a supportive environment for everyone who commits to growth and offering a warm, non-judgmental atmosphere. This article has been fact-checked, ensuring the accuracy of any cited facts and confirming the authority of its sources. This article has been viewed 686,768 times.

Running away from home, while it sounds liberating and glamorous, is not fun. You'll be sleeping on the street, scrounging for food, and life certainly won't be easy. That being said, sometimes a home situation is so bad that running away still looks like the better option. If you've thought it through and still want to run away, but run away successfully, it's time to start getting ready.

Preparing for Your Departure

• This is, of course, if you don't have a job and a place to stay lined up. If you're one of the lucky few who have a pre-approved destination in mind, you may be able to get by being a little more strapped for cash.
• It's always a good idea to have some money saved up before you leave home.

• Find ways to scavenge for food. Whether it's seeing what a few days off the dollar menu feels like or dumpster diving, practice. It's more than a good idea to see what you're in for, food and drink wise. Aside from those two ideas, we'll talk about what else you can do in the next section.
• Practice sleeping in uncomfortable places. When you're on the run, you'll be sleeping on benches, behind bushes, curled in corners – you name it. You won't be sleeping in your 1000-thread count Egyptian cotton sheets anymore that your body is used to. Sleeping in hard, uncomfortable places is only difficult if you're not used to. Get used to it beforehand and it's one less thing you have to worry about.

• Youth shelters are a good place to start. They're not a good place to stay forever, but they can give you that time to get your situation figured out.
• A friend or extended family member can be good, too, but do know that puts them in a tough place when it comes to your parents. They are legally bound to say they know where you are if your parents have filed a report on your disappearance. However, you may be able to get away with a few days, no questions asked (and food on the table).

• Remember that you're taking this wherever you go, like a backpacker. It'll be annoying as much as it'll be useful. Also, remember that what you carry around determines your look. Do you look like a backpacker, tourist, or shifty runaway?

• Do not be afraid to hide this note fairly well; the authorities will find it during their search no matter how well it is hidden and discovery by your guardian would likely lead to immediate notification of authorities.

• Sleeping inside sometimes lets us forget just how cold it gets at nights. Bring long underwear and warm clothing with you, even if you're not sure you'll need it. It's better to be safe than sorry, and warmth is a necessity.

Starting Your Journey

Wear sunglasses and make up to hide your identity. Also do not take clothes that you wear often. Blend in with the group.

• If you decide to travel across country borders, try to do so within the first 12 hours of departure. Your passport photo will be easily recognizable by border control after your parent has had you declared an official missing person.
• You are less likely to be recognized if you are not nearby your home. Although this may sound slightly crazy, it's actually easier to run away to a foreign country, especially in Europe, because you will likely be mistaken for just another American tourist with a lot of luggage.
• Don't talk about your story to other passengers. They may not take pity on you (and instead take pity on your parents) and alert the police to your situation. If anyone asks, either come up with a story or tell them you'd just like to keep to yourself.

• Don't update your social media either. Saying, "I'm so tired of this crap. I'm going to run away!" is not a brilliant idea. What's more, never go on your old Facebook, Myspace, Twitter, Youtube, Gmail or any other web based account again once you leave. They can easily track you using these sites.

• It's also a good idea to gain weight, if possible (within reason, of course). Losing weight is to be expected – those looking for you will assume you're becoming thinner as the days go by because you're not eating.

• And even then, exercise caution. They may tell someone who will tell someone who will tell the authorities. The gossip chain is usually pretty hard to pin down, and it's always flowing from ear to ear somewhere.

Surviving as a Runaway

• If you are in a place surrounded by people, know that you have a higher chance of police or concerned pedestrians questioning you about your predicament. Always be prepared with a back-story.
• Make sure that wherever you are that's empty at night is still empty in the morning. That church parking lot on Saturday evening may seem safe and secure, but come Sunday morning you'll be regretting that assumption.

• Dumpsters behind grocery stores and restaurants often throw out the food they can't sell. It's not necessarily old, they just can't sell it. Go at night after closing and you may be rewarded.
• Poke around at buffets. When a party gets up, you go in for the pounce. Uneaten food for the win.
• Ask. If you go to a restaurant, cafe, or hospital, they may take pity on you and give you some of the food they know they probably won't or can't sell. Just remember to put on your kindest smile when you do so.

• If you're not sixteen or you admitting your identity is a problem, see if you can find day-to-day, cash-in-hand work. This will likely be manual labor but, at least, it's something. Answering flyers posted to community boards and checking sites like Craigslist are your best bets.

• Whatever you do, do not steal any items from wherever you are staying. This makes you a wanted criminal, and you are now being hunted much more so than if you had just run away.

Coping with Potential Problems

• Position yourself near a gas station near the entrance to a freeway or highway. You will then be able to approach the drivers that you think may give you a ride (young and old people are best; avoid those in suits and those that look crazy). If that's not an option, get near the on-ramp or a low-speed road – the drivers need time to see you and slow down.
• When someone does stop, act approachable, happy, and comfortable with your situation. And then survey them: do you want to ride with them? Trust your gut; if it says no, politely decline. If it says yes, get in, put your bag in the back, and keep your hands on your knees (to show that you're not a threat).

• Go to your local train station and get a copy of the schedule. Find the train you want to take to your preferred destination. When it arrives, get on a middle car when an agent steps away from the door. Sit down as if you came from a prior stop, and keep an eye out for the agent. When you see him or her coming for your ticket, hop into the bathroom. If he or she actually knocks on the bathroom, be on the toilet and none too happy about being intruded upon. Your only other option is wandering about the entire time, never really sitting down.

• Act confident wherever you go. Being nervous invites those looking for prey to come up to you and take advantage of you. Carry a knife with you for self-defense (it's not pretty advice, but it's real).
• Use a secret compartment in your backpack, if possible. If they raid your stuff, they may skip over the lining of your bag – you can keep a small laptop or something flat in there to mirror the structure of the bag.
• There's such a thing as "adventure underwear," and it has pockets. Thieves will generally not check your underwear, so keeping a wad of cash in there is a pretty safe bet.
• 4 If you are in a public area, walk into the nearest store. Chances are they won't follow.

• If you have run away several times, you may become a child of the state and be forced into the foster system, or otherwise away from your home when found. You are then deemed a "Child in Need of Supervision" and the courts will determine what to do with you. Because of situations like this, it's best to avoid the authorities at all costs.
• If you are in a foreign country that speaks a different language and you get confronted by the police, pretend not to speak English. It really helps to be bilingual in this situation, even if it is a language different than the native one of the country you're in to try to fool the police into thinking you are from a country other than your actual homeland.

• In the US, that number is 1-800-RUNAWAY. In the UK, Childline offers similar services at 0800 1111. Covenant House, based in Los Angeles but operating in many countries in North America and Central America, offers shelter to youth, and their main number is (323) 461-3131. [6] X Research source

Expert Q&A

• Try to make new friends with your new name after leaving to erase any feelings of loneliness. Thanks Helpful 20 Not Helpful 2
• You may want to alert your parents that you are still alive after you reach the age of 18, as you will still be an official missing person until you do so. Thanks Helpful 11 Not Helpful 2
• If you are running away to a foreign country, make sure it is a safe one. If you are a 15-year-old girl, running away to Ciudad Juárez is not the smartest thing you could do. You should also try to make sure you speak the country's language. Thanks Helpful 15 Not Helpful 2

Tips from our Readers

• Another place to hide money and documents is under the insoles of your shoes. When I travel, I always keep emergency cash and copies of my passport there.
• Use the COVID-19 pandemic to your advantage. If you wear a facemask as well as a hoodie, you won't be as recognizable.

• Never stay in one place too long. Staying somewhere too long can easily get you noticed and caught. Thanks Helpful 52 Not Helpful 1
• Exercise common sense. By running away, you can face the risk of getting caught, mugged, raped, kidnapped, or murdered. It is something you might regret for the rest of your life. Thanks Helpful 46 Not Helpful 4
• The stats on runaways aren't pretty. In the US, around 30% try to commit suicide. 63% have been or are depressed, and the vast majority experience problems at school (if they go) or with drugs or alcohol (or both). Half of females on the street get pregnant. Therefore, running away is only encouraged if it is your very last resort. Thanks Helpful 30 Not Helpful 2
• Never run away if you got in a fight with someone. Talk with them instead or call a crisis phone line for help. Thanks Helpful 25 Not Helpful 5

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• ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/traversing-the-inner-terrain/201104/run-away-home
• ↑ https://kidshealth.org/en/kids/running-away.html
• ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/philosophy-stirred-not-shaken/202004/addicts-jaywalkers-and-hitchhikers
• ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/think-act-be/201504/mind-the-gap
• ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-search-for-meaning-after-age-50/202303/prepare-yourself-now-for-the-changing-world
• ↑ https://www.covenanthouse.org/aboutus

About This Article

To run away intelligently, keep in mind that running away isn't fun or glamorous, and you'll likely have to sleep on the street, scrounge for food, and put yourself in potentially dangerous situations. If you have to run away though, try to save up as much cash as possible beforehand so you have money to get you by for a little while. Also, try to have a destination that you're running away to, like a youth shelter or a friend's or family member's house, so you're not wandering aimlessly. If you're serious about running away, you can call a runaway hotline, like 1-800-RUNAWAY, for help finding a shelter or just to talk to someone. To learn how to survive as a runaway, scroll down. Did this summary help you? Yes No

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Everyone Says I’m Running Away

My dad always asks what I’m running away from with my travels. A commenter told me to stop running away from my problems and to start living life. “Grow up,” he said.

And, years ago, there was a blog called “Mom says I’m running away.”

I’m not sure why, but there is this perception out there that anyone who travels long term and isn’t interested in settling down or getting a conventional job must be running away from something . They are just trying to “escape life.”

They are running away from responsibility, being a grown-up, heartache, problems, etc, etc.

Long-term travelers are all just Peter Pans refusing to be “adults.”

While society thinks traveling is something everyone should do at one point, it’s only gap years after college or short vacations that are acceptable. Get it out of your system and come back into the Matrix.

Those of us who lead nomadic lifestyles, or who linger just a bit too long somewhere before reaching that final homestretch, are all too often accused of running away.

Yes, go travel — but just not for too long the world says. Responsible people don’t just travel forever.

We nomads must have awful, miserable lives, or are weird, or have had something traumatic happen to us that we are trying to escape. People assume that we are simply running away from our problems, running away from “the real world.”

To all those people, I say – you are right.

I am running away.

I’m running away from your idea of the “real” world.

I’m avoiding your life.

Instead, I’m running towards everything — towards the world , exotic places, new people, different cultures, and my own idea of freedom .

While there may be exceptions (as there are with everything), most people who become nomads do so because they want to experience the world, not escape problems. We are running away from office life, commutes, and weekend errands, and the corporate 9 to 5. We’re running away from the strict path society has laid out as “normal.” The one that makes us mindless ants marching to and fro.

We (I) want to experience every culture, see every mountain, eat weird food, attend crazy festivals , meet new people , and enjoy different holidays around the world.

Life is short and we only get to live it once. I want to look back and say I did exciting things and lived life on my own terms, not say I spent my life reading blogs like this during my lunch break while wishing I was doing the same thing.

No one dies going “If only I had spent more time in the office!”

As an American, my perspective might be different. In my country , the accepted path is long and narrow: you go to college, get a job, get married, buy a house, have your 2.5 children, raise them, and then retire. Only then, after you’ve put in your time, can you enjoy the fruits of your labor. Society boxes you in and restricts your movements to their expectations.

And any deviation is considered abnormal and weird.

People may want to travel, tell you they envy what you do, and say they wish they could do the same thing. But they never do . Few people muster the courage to take the leap , no matter how much their heart pulls them. They are simply fascinated by a lifestyle so outside the norm.

While social media, the rise of digital nomading , and websites like this have made quitting your job to travel the world or teach English in Thailand a little more acceptable, the general attitude is still “follow the path if you want to be normal.”

Well, I don’t want to be normal.

I feel like the reason why people tell us we are running away is that they can’t fathom the fact that we broke the mold and are living outside the norm. To want to break all of society’s conventions, there simply must be something wrong with us.

Years ago, a book called “ The Secret ” came out. According to “ The Secret ,” if you just wish for and want something badly enough, you’ll get it. But the real secret to life is that you get what you want when you do what you want.

Life is what you make it out to be. Life is yours to create. We are all chained down by the burdens we place upon ourselves, whether they are bills, errands, or, like me, self-imposed blogging deadlines . If you really want something, you have to go after it .

People who travel the world aren’t running away from life. Just the opposite. Those that break the mold, explore the world , and live on their own terms are running toward true living, in my opinion. We have a degree of freedom a lot of people will never experience. We get to be the captains of our ships.

But it is a freedom we chose to have.

We looked around and said, “ I want something different .”

And then we went for it.

It was that freedom and attitude I saw in travelers years ago in Thailand that inspired me to do lead the life I am now. I saw them break the mold and I thought to myself, “Why not me?”

I’m not running away.

I, like so many others before, am just running towards my own idea of a normal life.

And I never plan to look back.  

Book Your Trip: Logistical Tips and Tricks

Book Your Flight Find a cheap flight by using Skyscanner . It’s my favorite search engine because it searches websites and airlines around the globe so you always know no stone is being left unturned.

Book Your Accommodation You can book your hostel with Hostelworld . If you want to stay somewhere other than a hostel, use Booking.com as it consistently returns the cheapest rates for guesthouses and hotels.

Don’t Forget Travel Insurance Travel insurance will protect you against illness, injury, theft, and cancellations. It’s comprehensive protection in case anything goes wrong. I never go on a trip without it as I’ve had to use it many times in the past. My favorite companies that offer the best service and value are:

• SafetyWing (best for everyone)
• InsureMyTrip (for those 70 and over)
• Medjet (for additional evacuation coverage)

Want to Travel for Free? Travel credit cards allow you to earn points that can be redeemed for free flights and accommodation — all without any extra spending. Check out my guide to picking the right card and my current favorites to get started and see the latest best deals.

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Bryan kohberger’s lawyers offer new alibi for accused murder’s whereabouts on night of killings.

Bryan Kohberger’s lawyers claimed in a new alibi filing that cellphone data will show the accused killer was miles away from Moscow, Idaho the night four college students were slain in an off-campus house in the city.

“Mr. Kohberger was out driving in the early morning hours of Nov. 13, 2022; as he often did to hike and run and/or see the moon and stars,” the court documents, submitted late Wednesday, read.

“He drove throughout the area south of Pullman, Washington, west of Moscow, Idaho including Wawawai Park.”

Pullman is about 10 miles west of Moscow and Wawawai Park is a roughly 40-minute drive from the murder scene.

Kohberger is accused of fatally stabbing University of Idaho students Ethan Chapin, Xana Kernodle, Kaylee Goncalves and Madison Mogen in the early hours of Nov 13, 2022, inside a rental house near the Moscow campus.

The defense claimed the 29-year-old criminology student’s grueling academic schedule forced him to not only cut down on the time he spent hiking and running, but to instead indulge in the outdoor hobbies at night.

An expert witness in cellphone data will testify that cell towers showed “Kohberger’s mobile device was south of Pullman, Washington, and west of Moscow, Idaho, on November 13, 2022; that Bryan Kohberger’s mobile device did not travel east on the Moscow-Pullman Highway in the early morning hours of November 13th, and thus could not be the vehicle captured on video along the Moscow-Pullman highway near Floyd’s Cannabis shop,” according to the court filing.

Prosecutors have claimed that Kohberger’s white Hyundai Elantra was the car captured on video driving by the students’ Moscow home at least four times on the morning of the murders.

Investigators have also alleged Kohberger’s phone pinged in the area of the home that morning.

The defense team had long claimed Kohberger was out driving alone on the night of the murders, but has declined to offer specifics.

His attorneys emphasized they have more details on Kohberger’s whereabouts the night of the murders, but threatened to hold the information until the state shares more discovery as requested.

“If not disclosed, [cell phone tower expert Sly Ray]’s testimony will also reveal that critical exculpatory evidence, further corroborating Mr. Kohberger’s alibi, was either not preserved or has been withheld.”

Kohberger allegedly broke into the off-campus house around 4 a.m. and stabbed the four friends to death.

At the time of the killings, Kohberger was a Ph.D. student of criminology at Washington State University in Pullman, about nine miles west of Moscow over the state line.

After a seven-week manhunt, he was arrested on Dec. 30 during a raid on his family’s home in Pennsylvania, where a white Hyundai Elantra was also recovered.

Kohberger’s defense team has long argued that the indictment has insufficient evidence. Their past attempt to have the case thrown out  was also denied .

They have been accused of filing endless motions to prolong going to trial.

The next motion hearing is May 14, when the judge will consider the change of venue motion from the defense and their motion to compel the discovery.

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This is the train STATION?? Oh my god… So gorgeous. Moscow has never even crossed my mind as a possible travel destination but this is gorgeous…Hmmm… LOL

I know, right? We spent several hours in the metro, just marveling at the beauty of each one. Thanks for stopping by!

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