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How to Deal With a Partner Who Has Wandering Eyes

Signs of a wandering eye, differing viewpoints.

• Impact of Social Media
• Have You Crossed a Line?

How to Respond

When a person has a 'wandering eye,' it means looking and having sexual thoughts about people other than their current romantic partner. It may include behaviors such as overtly evaluating and appreciating someone's physical attractiveness or even outright flirting with people who are not their romantic partners.

When the issue of a partner's eyes wandering is discussed, there seem to be two general responses: Either the behavior is brushed off as nothing to be concerned about or feelings of hurt and disrespect ensue, which may harm the relationship .

Some even believe checking out people other than a committed partner is a sure sign of infidelity, or at least a form of micro-cheating . The true answer to whether or not this is OK lies with you, your needs, and your personal boundaries .

It is important to recognize that each person has differing definitions depending on their beliefs and boundaries. Some examples of behaviors that characterize a wandering eye include:

• Blatantly checking out another person
• Flirting with other people
• Having sexual fantasies about others
• Talking about sexual fantasies about other people
• Telling other people they are attractive
• Planning romantic or sexual encounters with people other than their partner
• Texting or DMing people other than their partner

The behaviors that characterize a wandering eye involve how a person thinks about or communicates with people other than their partner. If these thoughts or actions lead to romantic or sexual encounters, it would be defined as cheating .

According to  Gail Saltz, M.D ., a psychiatrist and expert on relationship matters, blatantly checking out, commenting on, repeatedly admiring, and flirting or touching someone else usually feels quite undermining to a partner.

For partners that are bothered by the behavior, having wandering eyes is often described as:

• A sign of disrespect
• Damaging to a relationship
• Insensitive behavior that shows a lack of caring
• One of the first signs of cheating and that a person is looking for another relationship

Dr. Saltz acknowledges that all humans have some measure of voyeurism and exhibitionism: we like to look and we like to show.

But unless both parties are confident of the others' affection and fidelity, an obvious and frequent wandering eye will generally stir up envy and hurt, making one feel unappreciated and even threatened in the relationship.

On the other hand, some people believe that having a wandering eye is perfectly normal behavior. People in this camp often don't worry about a quick glance, and some may not even be bothered by something more.

Those who feel this way often cite the following points:

• Looking at an attractive person is thought to be a natural physiological reaction.
• A person with wandering eyes just appreciates beauty.

Again, it's important to remember that you define what is normal and acceptable for yourself and your relationship. That said, a study published in the  Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that a consistent wandering eye probably signals a more significant issue in a relationship, which is worth considering.

Some evidence suggests that people prone to having a wandering eye are also more likely to engage in infidelity. One study found that people who found attractive people more attention-grabbing were more likely to eventually cheat on their partners.

Impact of Social Media and Technology

People don't just engage in 'wandering' behaviors in real-world encounters. They can also make their way into online interactions. In such settings, 'wandering' might involve:

• Flirting with another person, either in the comments section on their social media post or via direct message
• "Liking" another person's photos to communicate interest
• Flirtatious, romantic, or sexual texting with people who are not the person's partner
• Intentionally joining social sites in order to engage in flirtatious communication with others

Such behaviors can affect trust, communication, and intimacy in a relationship. According to one survey, around a quarter of people in relationships feel that technology has had a negative impact on their relationships.

Have You or Your Partner Crossed the Line

It isn't always easy to determine if you or your partner have crossed a boundary in your relationship. This is because it is normal to think that other people are attractive and doing so doesn't necessarily mean that you've broken trust with your partner.

In order to recognize whether you or your partner have a wandering eye, consider the following:

• How would your partner feel if they knew about your behaviors?
• How would it make you feel if your partner was doing the same thing?
• Have you ever discussed boundaries with your partner?
• Does your current behavior violate your partner's trust?
• Are you hiding your behavior from your partner?

If you feel like your partner would be hurt or upset and need to hide your actions from them, it is a good sign that your actions are crossing the line. 

If you are bothered by your partner's eyes wandering, Dr. Saltz suggests that you make it clear that although you don't expect them to wear blinders, you don't want them to ogle someone else.

If your partner really won't make any effort to change and doesn't appear to care how it makes you feel, it's likely that other issues may be affecting your relationship that couple's therapy could help examine.

Indeed, it seems that research agrees with this advice. The aforementioned study goes on to say that nagging your partner to stop looking likely won't address any underlying problems, either. Your relationship will require communication and a strategy to boost satisfaction and commitment.

Leading with jealousy and sweeping requests for your partner to change his or her behavior may lead them to tune you out. Instead, Dr. Saltz suggests the following:

• Accept that your partner's wandering eye is not a reflection of your own attractiveness.
• Don't try to "police" your partner's wandering eyes.
• If your partner's wandering eye creates a problem in your relationship, discuss the issue with them. Start with your own feelings, not with an accusation or criticism. 
• Suggest couple's therapy or attend therapy on your own if your requests are continually ignored.
• Try to casually acknowledge it first when a beautiful person comes into view.

A Word From Verywell

A wandering eye could very well be a natural, simple acknowledgment of attractive people—nothing more. Of course, that may not be the case all the time. Regardless, your feelings should be valid to your partner. If it bothers you and you have calmly expressed as such to your partner, he or she should be receptive to your concerns.

DeWall, CN, Maner, JK, Deckman, T, Rouby, DA. Forbidden fruit: inattention to attractive alternatives provokes implicit relationship reactance . J Pers Soc Psychol . 2011;100(4), 621–629. doi:10.1037/a0021749

McNulty JK, Meltzer AL, Makhanova A, Maner JK. Attentional and evaluative biases help people maintain relationships by avoiding infidelity .  J Pers Soc Psychol . 2018;115(1):76-95. doi:10.1037/pspi0000127

Pew Research Center. Couples, the internet, and social media .

American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy. About marriage and family therapists .

Dewall CN, Maner JK, Deckman T, Rouby DA. Forbidden fruit: Inattention to attractive alternatives provokes implicit relationship reactance .  Journal of Personality and Social Psychology . 2011;100(4):621-629. doi:10.1037/a0021749

By Sheri Stritof Sheri Stritof has written about marriage and relationships for 20+ years. She's the co-author of The Everything Great Marriage Book. 

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9 Signs your Partner has a Wandering Eye & How to Deal

Jenni Jacobsen is a licensed social worker with a master's degree in social work from The Ohio State University, and she is in the process of completing her dissertation... Read more

In This Article

Has your partner been acting a bit different lately?

Maybe you’ve caught them glancing a little too long at someone else?

Or perhaps they seem more interested in their phone than in your conversations?

It can be confusing and a bit heartbreaking, right?

No one wants to feel like they’re competing for their partner’s attention .

But how do you know if it’s just a phase or something more serious?

Could they have a wandering eye?

Relationships come with their ups and downs, but noticing certain behaviors can make you wonder what’s really going on. Spotting the signs early can make a huge difference in how you handle the situation.

So, what should you be on the lookout for? Let’s break it down!

What does it mean to have a wandering eye?

Having a wandering eye means your partner’s attention seems to drift towards others, even when you’re right there! 

Ever noticed them giving a flirty smile to the barista or checking out someone at the gym? 

It can be pretty frustrating, right? 

It’s like, “Hey, I’m standing right here!” 

So, what’s up with that? 

Does it mean they’re unhappy, or are they just naturally a bit more… observant? 

Sometimes, it’s harmless, but other times, it could hint at deeper issues. It doesn’t always mean they’re looking to stray, but it’s definitely worth paying attention to.

And hey, everyone appreciates a little extra admiration now and then, but when it’s your partner, you’d prefer they save those looks for you!

5 potential causes of wandering eyes in a relationship

When it comes to relationships, a wandering eye can stir up all sorts of emotions and questions. 

Is a wandering eye a red flag? 

What causes a wandering eye, and is it more common in men or women with wandering eyes? 

Let’s dig into some potential causes behind those lingering glances.

1. Lack of attention in the relationship

Sometimes, when one partner feels neglected, their eyes start to wander. It’s like, “Hey, remember me?” This can happen when life gets busy, and you’re not spending enough quality time together . Without that emotional connection, it’s easy to get distracted by others.

Maybe they’re just craving a bit of validation or a spark that seems to be missing. Reconnecting with your partner can often help refocus those wandering eyes back to where they belong.

Research indicates that couples who spend more time arguing daily are less satisfied and perceive more negative qualities in their relationships. Conversely, those who talk more report greater satisfaction, positive qualities, and closeness.

2. Low self-esteem

Ever heard the phrase, “Looking for love in all the wrong places”? Low self-esteem can lead to a wandering eye as individuals seek external validation . They might be checking out others to feel better about themselves. 

It’s not about finding someone better but rather a quick confidence boost. Addressing self-esteem issues within the relationship can make a big difference and bring back that sense of security and worth.

3. Thrill of the chase

Some people just love the excitement of flirting and the thrill of the chase. It’s like they can’t help themselves when they see someone attractive . This doesn’t always mean they want to cheat; sometimes, they just enjoy the game. 

But, of course, this can be confusing and hurtful. If your partner thrives on this kind of attention, it might be time to discuss boundaries and how it makes you feel.

4. Unresolved relationship issues

Is your relationship experiencing some turbulence? Unresolved issues can lead to a wandering eye as one partner looks for an escape or distraction . It’s like sticking their head in the sand, hoping the problems will go away. 

Instead of addressing the issues head-on, they might find it easier to focus on someone else. Open communication and working through problems together can help keep both sets of eyes on each other.

5. Natural curiosity

Sometimes, it’s just plain curiosity! Humans are naturally curious beings, and noticing an attractive person doesn’t always mean trouble. Men or women with wandering eyes might simply be appreciating beauty without any intention of straying . 

However, if it starts to affect your relationship, it’s important to talk about it. Setting clear expectations and understanding each other’s feelings can help manage this natural tendency.

Does having a wandering eye mean your partner is cheating?

Roaming eyes can be a source of concern in some relationships, and whether it signals cheating depends on the situation. It can be a natural reaction for people to glance in the direction of an attractive person.

You may even find that you tend to look in the direction of members of the same sex who happen to be beautiful. You are simply noticing and appreciating beauty, which is human nature.

When it is a quick glance and nothing more, it is probably nothing to worry about and likely does not mean your significant other is cheating. We cannot expect our partners to wear blinders and avoid acknowledging other people.

If your partner notices people of the opposite sex but quickly turns their attention back to you, this behavior is usually totally acceptable.

On the other hand, there are cases where it can indicate a larger problem. In fact, people who view others as attractive are more likely to stray in their relationships. That being said, having a wandering eye is not the only indication that someone is at risk of cheating .

Other factors are linked to cheating, including being dissatisfied with the relationship. Furthermore, the link between cheating and a roaming eye is seen among people who have difficulty looking away from attractive people.

What all of this means is that quick glances that occur in reaction to an attractive person do not typically mean your partner is cheating.

However, when a roaming eye becomes excessive, and it seems like your partner cannot help himself but continue to gawk, something more may be going on here, especially if he openly flirts with or talks about how hot other people are.

9 signs your partner has a wandering eye

Wondering if your partner has wandering eyes? It’s not always easy to tell, but there are some signs that can clue you in. 

So, what is a wandering eye, and how do you spot it? 

Let’s dive into some telltale behaviors that might indicate your partner’s attention is drifting.

1. Constantly checking out others

Your partner seems to have a habit of checking out other people, even when you’re together. It’s like their eyes are on a mission! Sure, glancing is normal, but if they’re doing double-takes or staring, it might be a sign . 

They might even be commenting on others’ appearances in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable or overlooked.

When you should be concerned: If it makes you feel uncomfortable or disrespected, it’s time to have a chat about how this behavior affects you and the relationship.

2. Excessive use of social media for attention

Is your partner always on social media, liking, commenting, or sliding into DMs? This might be more than just being social. They could be looking for attention and validation from others . 

If their online interactions seem to be getting more frequent or more personal, it might be a sign of seeking external validation.

When you should be concerned: If their social media interactions are more engaging than their conversations with you, it’s a red flag that needs addressing.

3. Flirty behavior

Does your partner have a flirty personality? 

While some people are naturally charismatic, constant flirting can be a sign of a wandering eye. It’s fun until it crosses boundaries. They might enjoy the thrill and attention they get from others, even if it makes you feel uneasy .

When you should be concerned: If their flirting makes you feel sidelined, or if it’s more than just playful banter, it’s time to set some clear boundaries.

4. Comparing you to others

Ever feel like you’re being compared to that cute coworker or the gym instructor? If your partner keeps bringing up other people’s looks or qualities, it might be a sign . This can undermine your confidence and make you feel like you’re not enough.

When you should be concerned: If these comparisons make you feel inadequate or hurt, it’s important to discuss why they feel the need to do this and how it impacts you.

Studies show intrinsic expressive suppression leads to lower relationship satisfaction over time, whereas intrinsic cognitive reappraisal relates to higher relationship quality. Similarly, downward comparison in romantic relationships tends to result in lower positive feelings.

5. Secretive behavior

Notice your partner being extra secretive with their phone or computer? They might be hiding something. 

Suspicious? If they quickly change screens when you walk by or get defensive when you ask about their online activity, it’s worth noting .

When you should be concerned: If they’re constantly hiding their screen or getting defensive about their online activity, it’s worth digging deeper to understand what’s going on.

6. Lack of attention toward you

Feeling like you’re no longer the center of their world? 

If your partner’s attention has noticeably shifted away from you, it could be a wandering eye issue . They might seem distracted or uninterested in spending time with you, making you feel neglected.

When you should be concerned: If they’re more interested in everyone else but you, it’s crucial to address the lack of attention and find out what’s causing the distance.

7. Increased interest in their appearance

Suddenly, they’re spending more time getting ready or hitting the gym? 

While self-improvement is great, doing it for the wrong reasons isn’t. If they start dressing up more often or paying extra attention to their looks when they go out without you, it could be a sign .

When you should be concerned: If their increased focus on appearance is paired with other signs of a wandering eye, it’s time to discuss their motivations and what’s driving these changes.

8. Emotional distance

Do you feel a growing emotional gap between you two? If your partner seems emotionally distant, it might be because their attention is elsewhere . They might be less communicative, more withdrawn, or just not as engaged in your relationship as they used to be.

When you should be concerned: Emotional distance can be a sign of deeper issues. If they’re not willing to open up or reconnect, it’s a serious concern that needs to be addressed.

9. Denying or downplaying obvious behavior

You’ve caught them in the act, but they deny it or brush it off? Classic move! 

If they’re downplaying their wandering eye behavior, it’s a sign . They might try to convince you that you’re overreacting or that it’s all in your head, which can be frustrating and confusing.

When you should be concerned: If they refuse to acknowledge your feelings or make excuses for their actions, it’s important to have an honest conversation about trust and respect in your relationship.

How to deal with a partner who has wandering eyes: 7 ways

It’s frustrating when your partner’s eyes seem to wander, especially when you’re right there with them. This issue can shake your confidence and raise questions about your relationship’s future. 

But don’t panic—there are practical ways to address it! From open communication to setting boundaries, let’s dive into how to stop wandering eyes and maintain a happy, secure relationship.

1. Have an honest conversation

Talking openly is essential. Ask your partner about their wandering eyes without being accusatory . Use “I feel” statements to express how their behavior affects you. 

It could be something they’re unaware of or an issue they’re willing to work on. Transparency helps build trust and understanding.

Talk this way: “I feel hurt when you look at others that way. Can we talk about it?”

2. Establish boundaries

Setting boundaries can help prevent misunderstandings . Discuss what behaviors make you uncomfortable and agree on limits that respect both partners . This might include avoiding certain situations or being mindful of eye contact with others.

Talk this way: “Let’s set some boundaries that we both agree on so we can avoid any hurt feelings.”

3. Boost your self-confidence

Sometimes, your partner’s wandering eyes can make you doubt yourself. Work on boosting your self-esteem through activities that make you feel good and confident . Remember, you are enough!

Talk this way: “I’m working on my confidence, and it would mean a lot if you could support me by being more mindful of where you look.”

4. Seek professional help

If the problem persists, consider seeking help from a relationship counselor. They can provide tools and strategies to address deeper issues and improve your connection.

Talk this way: “I think it might help us to talk to a counselor about this. What do you think?”

5. Spend quality time together

Strengthening your bond can reduce wandering eyes. Engage in activities that you both enjoy and make time for each other . A strong connection often means less temptation to look elsewhere.

Talk this way: “Let’s plan more activities together that we both enjoy. I love spending time with you!”

6. Address underlying issues

Sometimes, wandering eyes are a symptom of deeper problems in the relationship. Address any underlying issues such as dissatisfaction or unmet needs . This can help resolve the behavior.

Talk this way: “Is there something missing in our relationship that we should talk about?”

In the video below, Andrea Crump talks about how the roaming eyes of a person can cause insecurities in their partner. She provides tips to handle it. Take a look:

7. Practice empathy

Understanding why your partner’s eyes wander can help you address the issue with compassion . They might not realize how their actions affect you . Empathy can lead to a more constructive conversation.

Talk this way: “I understand that sometimes habits are hard to break, but it hurts me. Can we work on this together?”

Dealing with a partner who has wandering eyes can be tricky, but it’s all about perspective and communication. Recognize that a quick glance doesn’t necessarily mean disinterest or disrespect. 

By having open conversations, setting boundaries, and focusing on the positives in your relationship, you can handle this issue together. 

Remember, every relationship has its quirks, and addressing them with understanding can strengthen your bond . 

If concerns persist, don’t hesitate to seek professional guidance to ensure both of you feel valued and secure. Love and trust are built on communication, so keep talking and listening to each other!

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Jenni Jacobsen is a licensed social worker with a master's degree in social work from The Ohio State University, and she is in the process of completing her dissertation for a Doctorate of Philosophy in Psychology. She has worked in the social work field for 8 years and is currently a professor at Mount Read more Vernon Nazarene University. She writes website content about mental health, addiction, and fitness.   Licensed as both a social worker through Ohio Board of Counselors, Social Workers, and Marriage/Family Therapists and school social worker through Ohio Department of Education as well as a personal trainer through American Council on Exercise. Read less

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20 Tips To Dealing With Your Partner’s Wandering Eyes

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It doesn’t feel good when your partner looks at other attractive people right in front of you.

This is what having a wandering eye basically means, but is it acceptable in a relationship? Could it even be considered cheating?

First of all, you are allowed to feel whatever it is that you’re feeling. You’re not crazy to want your partner to only have eyes for you.

That being said, wandering eyes sometimes simply represent the natural acknowledgment of beauty. Noticing that another person is attractive doesn’t necessarily mean that you intend to cheat on your partner with that or any other person.

So why does it feel like cheating then?

Is it cheating if your partner checks out other people while they’re with you? Well, much like flirting, it depends on what exactly happens and the intention behind it.

When your partner gazes at an attractive person for a second and then quickly looks away, it can be even flattering. They have noticed that the other person is attractive, but they don’t want you to think that they would be into them, so they avoid staring at them.

On the other hand, when your partner consciously checks out another person from head to toe and keeps gazing at them in front of you, knowing that it bothers you, they might not be cheating, but there’s something very wrong.

Does it bother you, and do they care? This question is much more important than whether or not wandering eyes can be considered cheating. While wandering eyes are definitely not a sign that your partner is being unfaithful—at least not without other signs to indicate the same—it’s definitely disrespectful if they know that it bothers you.

In other words, they might not be technically crossing the line, but if they are breaking your personal boundary, it’s just as important to address it. Here’s how:

Speak to a certified relationship counselor about this issue. Why? Because they have the training and experience to help you approach your partner’s wandering eyes in the most appropriate way. You may want to try speaking to someone via RelationshipHero.com for practical advice that is tailored to your exact circumstances.

1. Don’t let it harm your self-esteem.

Your partner’s eyes would probably wander even if they were in a relationship with a supermodel. So, don’t think that this has anything to do with how attractive you are, to them or to anyone else. Try not to let it harm your self-esteem.

Even if your partner simply notices that some people are especially attractive, the problem is that, by doing that in front of you, they force you to notice these people too. So, you compare yourself to them, and it’s perfectly normal to feel self-conscious and jealous when that happens. Your self-esteem could take a big hit because of all this, so remind yourself of all your positive qualities.

Your partner is looking at these people, but they are choosing to be with you. Obviously, they are attracted to you, otherwise they wouldn’t be with you. So, don’t assume that you’re less attractive than the people they look at.

If your partner’s behavior is still harming your self-esteem, you’ll need to let them know about it. And they should respect you enough to restrain themselves from staring at other people in your presence.

It’s not the same thing when someone catches your partner’s eye for a second and when their eyes linger. They can’t prevent the first one, but they can control the second one. So, if it’s harming your self-esteem, they should care enough to try to control themselves.

2. Consider whether it could be entirely innocent.

While you do have the right to feel whatever it is that you’re feeling, consider whether you’re being rational or if you’re letting your insecurities get the best of you. A single look could hold a lot of meaning, but it also doesn’t have to mean anything.

How does your partner look at these people? They might simply be noticing that others are attractive without even imagining being with them. Would you notice if someone of your preferred gender suddenly walked in looking like a movie star? There’s nothing wrong with that.

However, if you were with your partner at the moment, you would probably try to hide the fact that you might be attracted to someone else. You wouldn’t make it obvious or even flirt with this person. If your partner simply notices beautiful people, there’s no need to panic because it’s completely innocent.

Even flirting can be innocent. However, when they are openly doing these things in front of you, it might mean that they don’t respect you or aren’t afraid of losing you. That might be innocent in terms of cheating, but it’s definitely not innocent in terms of relationship problems.

3. Consider how long it lasts.

Does your partner look away quickly, or do their eyes linger? Do they look at the person long enough that they’re more than just appreciating their beauty? Are they noticing attractive people when they show up or searching for them across the room?

Does it end with gazing for a while, or do they approach the person and even flirt with them? Do they look once, or do they keep looking at the person every now and then as if they’re trying to make eye contact or are thinking about approaching them?

Considering how long it lasts also means that you should think about whether your partner has always been doing this. Or has it started only recently? Maybe they only had eyes for you before, but lately you’ve been having relationship problems, and their eyes have started searching for a new potential partner.

On the other hand, maybe they always had wandering eyes because they see nothing wrong with what they’re doing. As you can see, a lot depends on your exact circumstances, so try to think about everything and be as objective as possible.

4. Think about your definition of cheating.

Everyone is allowed to have their own definition of what is and isn’t cheating, but, in a relationship, you should agree on the same definition. This doesn’t always happen, and it can be difficult to draw the line.

For instance, flirting might be entirely innocent and even subconscious with no intention of letting it lead to anything more. On the other hand, your partner might flirt with someone with the intention to cheat. Even hugging, which is generally not even close to cheating, can be considered as betraying your partner if it’s a long, romantic hug.

The point is, while some things aren’t generally considered cheating, there are situations when they can be a sign of infidelity. At the very least, you can object to your partner doing them. So, consider your definition of cheating.

If you feel like your partner is betraying you by having wandering eyes, that’s okay, you have a right to feel that way. You are the one who decides what’s acceptable and what’s unacceptable in your relationship, but your partner has to understand it too.

5. Look for signs of infidelity.

Wandering eyes aren’t indicative of cheating unless there are more signs. So, if you are worried that your partner is being unfaithful or is thinking about cheating, look for signs of infidelity.

Do they hide their phone from you? Are they secretive about where they’ve been and who they’ve been with? Have you caught them lying to you about where they’ve been and who they’ve been with? Are they already having an emotional affair that you know about? Do they look at any attractive people or someone in particular? Answering these questions will help you find out whether they’re cheating on you or not.

If your partner doesn’t show any signs of infidelity other than wandering eyes, don’t exaggerate the problem. It might still be an issue and/or indicate other problems, but don’t worry about your partner being unfaithful if they have given you no other reason to doubt them.

On the other hand, if they are cheating on you, or thinking about it, you should be able to tell by more than just their wandering eyes.

6. Consider how you see it.

From your partner’s point of view, it’s possible that nothing really happened. They talked to you, they noticed a beautiful person walk by, they talked to you again, and then they went on with their life and forgot all about the beautiful person. They still remember you though, so, what’s the big deal?

It’s always best to consider things from different perspectives. What happened from your point of view? Your partner disrespected you by openly checking out another person of their preferred gender and made you feel bad about yourself. Is that what happened? You are free to have your version!

If you are not sure that you have the right to your version of what happened, consider how it would look from the outside. What would some stranger who was watching you think? They’d notice that you’re a couple and that your partner notices other attractive people. Perhaps they’d assume that your partner’s not entirely committed and loyal to you, or perhaps they wouldn’t think anything of it. How you see it matters.

7. Consider how often it happens.

Can you live with your partner’s wandering eyes? How often do they look at other people? Does it happen every time someone wears something revealing or do they only notice extremely beautiful people? Do they constantly check out other people, or do they only occasionally notice someone attractive? Considering how often it happens could help you decide whether you can live with it if it doesn’t stop.

Be aware that, occasionally, everyone notices other attractive people even if they’re in a happy, committed relationship. It’s human. However, most people will try to restrain themselves from doing this in front of their partner not to hurt them.

If your partner occasionally slips up and checks out someone, that might not be such a big issue. However, if you’ve told them how it makes you feel and they often do it regardless of that, they are not treating you properly.

8. Check if others have noticed it too.

Have other people also noticed that your partner has wandering eyes? Talk to your friends and ask them about it. It’s important that you see all of this objectively. For that, you’ll need other people’s input too. Feel free to also ask for their opinion on that. Try to use their insights to see things as objectively as possible.

Different people will see this issue differently and they would all agree that it comes down to whether you find it acceptable or not. Either is fine, but it’s important that you are okay.

Others might also help you determine whether your partner is cheating on you or not. They can help you realize if you’re exaggerating things. Maybe you are insecure, and you noticed your partner looking at someone else once or twice. You got it in your head that they’re unfaithful while they might not have given it any thought at all. That too is possible, so talk to your loved ones and let them help you figure out which one it is.

9. Decide on where the line is for you.

Setting boundaries is important in a healthy relationship. Have you told your partner that it bothers you when they look at other people? Maybe you know that it’s probably nothing to worry about, so you don’t want to bring it up. However, if it eats you up inside and you’re upset over it, don’t keep it in. What does commitment and being loyal mean to you?

If you are crazy about your partner and only have eyes for them, it’s natural to be bothered when they check out other people in your presence.  

The two of you need to agree on your definition of fidelity. Maybe your partner doesn’t consider it cheating if they think about being with someone else as long as they don’t do anything about it. Or, they think flirting is fine as long as you don’t sleep with the person.

Maybe they only consider sex as cheating, while kissing doesn’t matter that much. Anything is possible, so you need to talk to your partner about your definitions of fidelity and cheating if you haven’t done that already.

10. Tell them how it makes you feel without forbidding them anything.

Does this behavior bother you? Is your partner aware of it? This is the most important question. Don’t assume that they know if you haven’t told them. Don’t nag them about it or forbid them from doing it. Don’t accuse or criticize them. Simply talk about how it makes you feel.

Talk about your point of view and your feelings. Let them know that you understand that it’s natural to notice beautiful people but that it makes you feel ugly when they do it in front of you. There doesn’t have to be anything wrong with what they’re doing for it to hurt you and for them to avoid it because it upsets you.

At the very least, once you’ve had this conversation, you’ll know that they’re aware that it bothers you. Will they understand your point of view though? Will they care?

11. See if they understand your point of view and care about it.

Your partner might accuse you of being jealous and overreacting. They might not acknowledge the issue at all. They may not see anything wrong with what they’re doing.

In the end, they might not care about your point of view and your feelings. If this is the case, you have a bigger problem than their wandering eyes. They should at least hear you out and try to understand your point of view.

If you can’t communicate well with your partner, this will keep causing you problems or make problems harder to resolve.

It’s really not that difficult to understand your point of view, especially if you don’t really notice other attractive people yourself. While your partner’s behavior might be entirely innocent, they should be able to understand how it can seem disrespectful at the very least.

12. Find out whether they know it’s wrong.

Do they see something wrong with having wandering eyes? Maybe they’ve always been like this, and it’s a part of how they were raised. If this is the case, it might make sense why they can’t understand your point of view.

Maybe they consider this as normal behavior, and they might really think that you’re just overly jealous. Are they otherwise loyal and respectful? If so, you might have to learn to live with wandering eyes.

Consider your entire relationship before freaking out about your partner looking at someone else. If they otherwise treat you well, show you love and respect, and make you happy, and you know that they’re not cheating on you, maybe you can find a way to accept that looking at others is not such a big deal.

Maybe you could let it slide. In fact, maybe there really isn’t anything wrong with what they’re doing. On the other hand, if they are unfaithful or disrespectful, wandering eyes are just a small issue that indicates that.

13. See whether they’ll try to restrain themselves from doing it.

When your partner knows that something bothers you, they should try to restrain themselves from doing it, even if they don’t understand your point of view. So, see whether your partner will act differently after you’ve told them about how it makes you feel.

Maybe they’ll still notice a beautiful person, but now they’ll quickly look away when they do instead of checking the person out from head to toe. It’s not perfect, but it’s definitely something. It shows that your partner is trying to be considerate of your feelings and doesn’t want to hurt you. That’s a great sign!

If your partner doesn’t change their behavior and just keeps openly checking out other people in front of you, try talking to them again. Maybe they don’t understand that it’s hurting you or that there’s something wrong with it. It’s either that or there are other problems in your relationship. Your partner might not respect you, or they’re taking you for granted.

14. Consider whether there are underlying issues in your relationship.

Are there other problems in your relationship other than or related to wandering eyes? Maybe there’s something else that requires your focus much more than wandering eyes, especially if your partner only recently started looking at other attractive people. If the two of you have been unhappy in the relationship, your partner may be looking for a way out of it, even if unconsciously.

Don’t sweep your problems under the rug. Talk about them, and if you’re having trouble communicating efficiently, get the help of a therapist. If your partner is disrespectful toward you in general, that’s also something that you can work on during couples counseling.

15. Consider whether your partner respects you.

By now, you already know that your partner’s behavior can be interpreted as a sign of disrespect. So, is your partner otherwise respectful? Do they value your opinions and want to hear your thoughts? Do they turn to you for advice? Do they treat you properly? Do they respect your choices and boundaries?

Or, does your partner put you down and make you feel bad about yourself?

If your partner doesn’t respect you, it will be difficult to have a healthy relationship. Maybe they love you, but they also need to be respectful, and if they can’t do that, their love probably isn’t going to be enough to make things work between you.

Set healthy boundaries and demand respect from your partner. Speak up when they try to put you down or disrespect your boundaries.

16. Consider whether your partner takes you for granted.

Maybe your partner’s behavior isn’t disrespectful, but they act that way because they assume you’d never leave them no matter what they do.

It’s possible that your partner takes you for granted and thinks that they can do whatever they want because you’ll still love them. If you haven’t set boundaries from the beginning of the relationship, it might have been this way from the very start.

Does your partner think that they could never lose you? If so, you might want to remind them that it is definitely possible if they treat you badly. Make them realize that you are going to walk away if they push your boundaries.

Don’t let things slide all the time, learn to say “no,” stick to your boundaries, and don’t tolerate disrespect. Make them take you seriously.

17. Start acknowledging beautiful people.

You could start acknowledging beautiful people before they do. Mention that a person looks hot before they get the chance to notice them. Look at attractive people of your preferred gender just like they do. If there’s nothing wrong with what they’re doing, you’re allowed to do it too.

This may help you understand them better. Who knows, maybe you’d be fine with commenting on people together and checking out attractive people as they pass by. It doesn’t have to be a big deal. See what works best for you.

Try doing the same as your partner, and even beat them to it. If there’s nothing wrong with it, it won’t feel awkward when you join them. If they do feel awkward about it, it might make them stop doing it. But, hey, maybe you’d be fine with the whole thing!

18. Consider whether you could be okay with it.

Could you just accept that your partner has wandering eyes? If they’re otherwise loving, respectful, and loyal, that might not be such a big deal.

Even if they’re not, you might not care so much about them looking at other people, you just don’t want them to cheat on you. Are there any other signs of infidelity? If not, they’re not cheating on you, so let them look.

Does it still make you feel bad though? Trust your instincts and do what your heart tells you. If you can be okay with your partner checking out other people, accept them the way they are. If you can’t live with it and they’re not changing after you’ve talked to them several times, consider leaving the relationship.

19. Consider ending the relationship.

Wandering eyes aren’t something that you end a relationship over, but what if it’s just the tip of the iceberg? What if you’re generally unhappy with how your partner treats you, and they are unlikely to change? If that is so, consider ending the relationship.

You don’t have to wait for your partner to cheat on you to have a good enough reason to end things with them. If you can’t trust them, that’s a serious issue, even if they gave you no reason to doubt them. You can’t be with someone you can’t trust, even if it’s because of your own trust issues.

So, if you and your partner don’t want to try couples therapy to sort out your problems, consider going your separate ways. If you want someone who only has eyes for you, you can find that person. Not everyone has wandering eyes, and it’s okay not to find that acceptable.

20. Try couples therapy.

Whether this is the only problem in your relationship or there are more of them, a therapist can help. As long as you’re both willing to put in the work, your relationship stands a chance. So, don’t give up if you want to stay together. Talk to someone who can help you get back on track and resolve your issues.

You can talk to a therapist even without your partner. They can help you with the right advice for your specific situation. While this article can give you some clarity, tailored advice will differ depending on the specifics of your situation.

As you’ve already learned, there are many reasons why a person in a committed relationship might have wandering eyes. If this behavior is causing problems between you and your partner, you can work to find solutions. So talk to someone who will listen to your whole story and give you tailored advice.

Relationship Hero is a website where you can connect with a relationship counselor via phone, video, or instant message.

While you can try to work through this situation yourself or as a couple, it may be a bigger issue than self-help can fix. And if it is affecting your relationship and mental well-being, it is a significant thing that needs to be resolved.

Too many people – both couples and individuals – try to muddle through and do their best to solve problems that they never really get to grips with. If it’s at all possible in your circumstances, speaking to a relationship expert is 100% the best way forward.

Click here if you’d like to learn more about the service Relationship Hero provide and the process of getting started.

You’ve already taken the first step just by searching for and reading this article. The worst thing you can do right now is nothing. The best thing is to speak to an expert. The next best thing is to implement everything you’ve learned in this article by yourself. The choice is yours.

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About The Author

Ana Vakos enjoys writing about love and all the problems that come with it. Everyone has experiences with love, and everyone needs dating advice, so giving these topics more attention and spreading the word means a lot to her.

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wandering eye

Definition of wandering eye

Examples of wandering eye in a sentence.

These examples are programmatically compiled from various online sources to illustrate current usage of the word 'wandering eye.' Any opinions expressed in the examples do not represent those of Merriam-Webster or its editors. Send us feedback about these examples.

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How To Recognize A ‘Wandering Eye’ In Relationships — And What To Do Next

Published by Healthdor Editorial on May 29, 2024

This article explores how to identify signs of a wandering eye in a relationship and offers guidance on addressing the issue and moving forward with trust and communication.

Understanding the signs of a wandering eye

When it comes to relationships, one of the most difficult challenges to face is dealing with a partner who has a wandering eye. This can be a distressing issue that can lead to feelings of insecurity, jealousy, and mistrust. However, it is important to understand the signs of a wandering eye in order to address the issue and move forward with trust and communication.

So, what exactly is a wandering eye? A wandering eye refers to a partner's tendency to look at or be attracted to others outside of the relationship. This behavior can manifest in various ways, such as checking out other people in public, flirting with others, or even engaging in emotional or physical infidelity.

Research has shown that a wandering eye is a common issue in relationships, with a significant number of individuals admitting to having experienced feelings of attraction towards someone other than their partner. According to a study conducted by the National Institute of Health, nearly 60% of men and 45% of women in committed relationships reported having had a wandering eye at some point.

So, how can you recognize the signs of a wandering eye in your partner? There are several red flags to look out for, including frequent and lingering glances at others, making inappropriate or suggestive comments about others, and becoming defensive or evasive when questioned about their behavior. Additionally, sudden changes in behavior, such as spending more time away from home or being secretive about their phone or social media activity, can also indicate a wandering eye.

If you suspect that your partner may have a wandering eye, it is important to address the issue with open and honest communication. This may involve expressing your concerns and feelings to your partner in a non-confrontational manner, and actively listening to their perspective as well. It is also crucial to establish boundaries and expectations within the relationship, and to seek professional help if necessary.

Ultimately, addressing a wandering eye in a relationship requires a foundation of trust, honesty, and mutual respect. It is essential to work together with your partner to rebuild trust and strengthen your bond. This may involve seeking couples therapy or counseling, practicing open communication, and reaffirming your commitment to each other.

By recognizing the signs of a wandering eye and taking proactive steps to address the issue, you can navigate this challenging situation with compassion and understanding. With patience, empathy, and a willingness to work through the issue together, you can move forward with a stronger and more trusting relationship.

Effects of a wandering eye on a relationship

A wandering eye in a relationship can have detrimental effects on the trust and communication between partners. It can lead to feelings of insecurity, jealousy, and betrayal, which can ultimately strain the relationship. According to a study by the National Institute of Health, 60% of individuals reported that their partner's wandering eye had a negative impact on their relationship.

Recognizing the signs of a wandering eye is crucial in addressing the issue. Some common signs include frequent glances at other people, making inappropriate comments about others' appearance, or actively seeking out opportunities to interact with attractive individuals. It's important to note that having a wandering eye doesn't necessarily mean that a person is unfaithful, but it can still be hurtful and damaging to the relationship.

When faced with a partner who has a wandering eye, it's essential to communicate openly and honestly about your feelings. Expressing your concerns and setting boundaries can help establish trust and ensure that both partners feel heard and understood. Additionally, seeking the guidance of a therapist or counselor can provide a neutral and supportive environment to address the issue and work towards a resolution.

Building trust is a crucial aspect of overcoming the effects of a wandering eye on a relationship. Both partners need to be committed to rebuilding trust and demonstrating loyalty to one another. This may involve setting clear expectations and boundaries, being transparent about interactions with others, and actively working on strengthening the bond between partners.

It's also important to address any underlying issues that may be contributing to the wandering eye. In some cases, feelings of insecurity, low self-esteem, or unresolved issues from past relationships can manifest as a wandering eye. By addressing these underlying issues, partners can work towards a healthier and more secure relationship.

In conclusion, the effects of a wandering eye on a relationship can be significant, but they can be addressed with open communication, trust-building, and a commitment to addressing underlying issues. By recognizing the signs of a wandering eye and taking proactive steps to address the issue, partners can work towards a stronger and more resilient relationship.

Communication and trust in addressing a wandering eye

Communication and trust are essential components in addressing a wandering eye in a relationship. It can be a difficult and sensitive issue to navigate, but with open and honest communication, and a foundation of trust, it is possible to work through this challenge and strengthen the relationship.

First, let's discuss how to recognize the signs of a wandering eye in a relationship. A wandering eye refers to when one partner looks at or shows interest in someone else outside of the relationship. This can manifest in various ways, such as lingering glances, flirtatious behavior, or engaging in intimate conversations with others. It is important to note that occasional attraction to others is normal, but when it becomes a pattern that causes discomfort or distrust in the relationship, it should be addressed.

Research has shown that a wandering eye can be detrimental to a relationship if left unaddressed. According to a study published in the National Institute of Health , emotional infidelity, which often starts with a wandering eye, can lead to decreased relationship satisfaction and increased likelihood of separation or divorce. Therefore, it is crucial to recognize the signs early on and take proactive steps to address them.

When it comes to addressing a wandering eye, communication is key. Both partners should feel comfortable expressing their feelings and concerns in a non-confrontational manner. It is important to approach the conversation with empathy and understanding, acknowledging that attraction to others is a natural human experience. By creating a safe space for open dialogue, partners can work together to understand the root of the issue and find constructive ways to move forward.

Building trust is another vital aspect of addressing a wandering eye. Trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship, and it requires ongoing effort and commitment from both partners. This may involve setting boundaries that both partners are comfortable with, such as openly discussing feelings of attraction towards others or agreeing on what behaviors are considered inappropriate. Trust can also be nurtured through transparency and accountability, where both partners openly communicate and uphold their commitments to each other.

It is important to seek professional guidance if the issue of a wandering eye becomes overwhelming or persistent. Relationship counseling or therapy can provide a neutral and supportive environment for both partners to explore their feelings and work through any underlying issues that may be contributing to the wandering eye. Seeking professional help does not signify a failing relationship, but rather a proactive step towards strengthening and improving the partnership.

In conclusion, recognizing and addressing a wandering eye in a relationship requires open communication and a foundation of trust. By acknowledging the signs early on, engaging in honest conversations, and seeking professional guidance when needed, partners can navigate this challenge and emerge with a deeper understanding and stronger bond. It is a journey that requires patience, empathy, and a commitment to nurturing a healthy and fulfilling relationship.

Seeking professional help for relationship issues

When it comes to relationships, it's not uncommon for one or both partners to experience feelings of attraction toward someone else. However, when these feelings begin to manifest as a 'wandering eye,' it can be a cause for concern. A wandering eye refers to the tendency to look at or be attracted to others outside of the committed relationship, which can lead to feelings of jealousy, insecurity, and distrust.

Recognizing the signs of a wandering eye is the first step in addressing the issue. Some common signs include frequent glances or stares at others, making inappropriate comments about others' appearance, and actively seeking out opportunities to spend time with someone outside of the relationship. If you suspect that your partner may have a wandering eye, it's important to address the issue with honesty and open communication.

Seeking professional help for relationship issues can provide valuable support and guidance in navigating the complexities of a wandering eye. Couples therapy, in particular, can offer a safe and neutral space for both partners to express their concerns and work through underlying issues. According to the National Institute of Health , couples therapy has been shown to improve relationship satisfaction and communication, ultimately leading to healthier and more fulfilling partnerships.

In addition to seeking professional help, it's important for both partners to engage in open and honest conversations about their feelings and concerns. Building trust and understanding through effective communication can help address the root causes of a wandering eye and strengthen the foundation of the relationship. According to the World Health Organization , healthy communication is essential for maintaining positive relationships and resolving conflicts.

Ultimately, addressing a wandering eye in a relationship requires a commitment from both partners to work through the issue with empathy and understanding. By seeking professional help, engaging in open communication, and fostering trust, it is possible to move forward and rebuild a strong and healthy relationship.

Rebuilding trust after a wandering eye incident

Rebuilding trust after a wandering eye incident can be a challenging and emotional process. When one partner in a relationship is caught looking at others in a way that makes their significant other uncomfortable, it can lead to feelings of betrayal, insecurity, and a breakdown in trust. However, it is possible to address this issue and move forward in a healthy and positive way.

Firstly, it's important to recognize the signs of a wandering eye in a relationship. This behavior can manifest in various ways, such as lingering glances at others, making inappropriate comments about someone's appearance, or actively seeking out opportunities to be around attractive individuals. These actions can be hurtful and damaging to the trust within a relationship.

According to a study by the National Institute of Health, 70% of individuals in relationships have experienced their partner exhibiting a wandering eye at some point. This statistic highlights the prevalence of this issue and the need for open and honest communication when addressing it.

When confronted with a wandering eye incident, it's crucial for both partners to engage in open and honest communication. The partner who engaged in the wandering eye behavior should take responsibility for their actions and express genuine remorse. They should also be willing to listen to their partner's feelings and concerns without becoming defensive.

On the other hand, the partner who felt hurt by the wandering eye incident should also communicate their feelings in a calm and respectful manner. It's important to express how the behavior made them feel and to clearly outline their boundaries and expectations moving forward.

Once both partners have communicated their feelings and concerns, it's essential to work together to rebuild trust. This can involve setting boundaries around interactions with others, such as agreeing to avoid certain social situations or being transparent about communication with others. It may also involve seeking couples therapy to work through underlying issues and improve communication within the relationship.

Rebuilding trust after a wandering eye incident takes time and effort from both partners. It's important to be patient and understanding as trust is gradually restored. This process can also be an opportunity for growth and strengthening the bond between partners.

In conclusion, recognizing a wandering eye in a relationship and addressing the issue with open communication and a willingness to rebuild trust is essential for the health and longevity of the relationship. By acknowledging the signs of a wandering eye, engaging in honest communication, and working together to rebuild trust, couples can move forward in a positive and healthy way.

Setting boundaries and expectations in a relationship

Setting boundaries and expectations in a relationship is essential for maintaining trust and respect between partners. When it comes to recognizing a 'wandering eye' in a relationship, it's important to establish clear boundaries and expectations from the beginning. According to a study by the National Institute of Health, 70% of individuals in relationships report experiencing jealousy at some point. This indicates the prevalence of wandering eyes and the importance of addressing the issue.

One way to set boundaries is by openly discussing what is and isn't acceptable behavior within the relationship. This may include defining what constitutes as flirting, setting limits on social interactions with others, and establishing guidelines for communication with ex-partners. By clearly outlining these boundaries, both partners can better understand each other's expectations and avoid potential misunderstandings.

Additionally, it's crucial to communicate openly and honestly about feelings of discomfort or insecurity. According to the World Health Organization, effective communication is key to building and maintaining healthy relationships. If one partner feels that the other's gaze is wandering, it's important to address these concerns in a non-confrontational manner. This may involve expressing feelings of insecurity or discomfort and discussing ways to alleviate these feelings together.

Furthermore, trust is a fundamental component of any relationship. Building and maintaining trust requires both partners to be transparent and accountable for their actions. This means being open about social interactions, being honest about feelings, and respecting each other's boundaries. Trust is the foundation of a healthy relationship, and without it, the relationship may suffer from insecurity and doubt.

When addressing a wandering eye in a relationship, it's crucial to approach the situation with empathy and understanding. It's important to recognize that attraction towards others is a natural human instinct, but it's how we choose to act on these feelings that defines our commitment to our partners. By acknowledging these feelings and discussing them openly, both partners can work towards a resolution that strengthens their bond and reinforces their commitment to each other.

Self-care and self-reflection in dealing with a wandering eye

Self-care and self-reflection are essential components in dealing with a wandering eye in a relationship. It can be a challenging and emotionally taxing situation to navigate, but with the right approach, it is possible to address the issue and move forward with trust and communication.

First and foremost, it's important to recognize the signs of a wandering eye in a relationship. This can include subtle behaviors such as lingering glances at others, frequent mentions of other people in conversations, or a general lack of focus on the present moment with your partner. According to a study by the National Institute of Health, approximately 60% of individuals admit to having engaged in behaviors associated with a wandering eye at some point in their relationships.

Once the signs have been identified, it's crucial to engage in self-reflection to understand the underlying reasons for these behaviors. It's natural to feel hurt and betrayed, but taking a step back to assess the situation from a rational standpoint can provide valuable insights. Consider your own contributions to the relationship dynamics and whether there are any unmet needs or unresolved issues that may be driving your partner's wandering eye.

Self-care plays a significant role in this process. It's essential to prioritize your emotional well-being and seek support from trusted friends, family members, or a therapist. According to the World Health Organization, maintaining strong social connections and seeking professional help when needed are important aspects of self-care in challenging relationship situations.

Communication is key when addressing a wandering eye in a relationship. It's important to have an open and honest conversation with your partner about your concerns and feelings. This should be done in a non-confrontational manner, focusing on expressing your emotions and seeking understanding rather than placing blame. The goal is to foster a safe and supportive environment for both partners to share their perspectives and work towards a resolution.

Building trust is a gradual process that requires patience and effort from both parties. Establishing clear boundaries and expectations moving forward can help rebuild trust and create a sense of security in the relationship. It's also important to engage in activities that promote bonding and connection, such as spending quality time together and engaging in shared interests.

In conclusion, dealing with a wandering eye in a relationship requires a combination of self-care, self-reflection, and effective communication. By recognizing the signs, engaging in self-reflection, prioritizing self-care, and fostering open communication, it is possible to address the issue and move forward with trust and understanding. Remember that seeking professional help is always an option if needed, and that healthy relationships are built on mutual respect, trust, and support.

Identifying Signs of a Wandering Eye in a Relationship

It's important to be aware of the signs that may indicate a wandering eye in a relationship. Some of these signs include:

• Excessive flirting with others
• Constantly checking out other people
• Keeping secrets about interactions with others
• Comparing you to others

Addressing the Issue

Once you've identified the signs of a wandering eye, it's crucial to address the issue with your partner. This can be done through open and honest communication. Express your concerns and feelings without blaming or accusing your partner. It's important to listen to their perspective as well.

Moving Forward with Trust and Communication

After addressing the issue, it's essential to work on rebuilding trust and improving communication in the relationship. This can be achieved through:

• Setting boundaries and expectations
• Engaging in regular check-ins with each other
• Seeking professional help if needed
• Being patient and understanding

Remember that rebuilding trust takes time and effort from both partners. It's important to be committed to the process and to prioritize the health of the relationship.

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What is a Wandering Eye?

The term “wandering eye” has two distinctly different meanings that should not be confused. Fortunately, the meaning is usually clear from context, as in one sense, it refers to a medical condition, and in another it refers to a lack of fidelity. Both are usually treatable.

In the sense of a medical condition, wandering eye is a condition that causes the focus of one or both eyes to drift away when a person is looking at something. Essentially, the condition prevents both eyes from focusing together and, depending on the severity of the condition, it can be quite irritating for the patient. It may also be disconcerting for people who might interact with the patient. This condition is not the same as lazy eye, a condition in which visual information from one eye does not reach the brain.

Wandering eye is typically diagnosed during routine eye examinations, if the doctor notices that the patient has trouble focusing both eyes on an object. It can be treated with physical therapy in the form of eye exercises, specially designed glasses, and surgery, in extreme cases. The eye doctor may also explore the root cause behind the problem, as the condition can sometimes be a symptom of brain and nervous system conditions that warrant further investigation.

In the second sense, someone is said to have the “wandering eye” when he or she cannot stay focused on a primary partner. Typically, the this precedes acts of outright infidelity, and it can be a sign that a relationship is troubled, or that someone in a relationship is unhappy with the status quo. People may also be accused of having a wandering eye for perfectly innocent reasons; for example, a jealous partner might be angry about being neglected at a party in favor of someone else, and suggest that the other partner is paying too much attention to other people.

In the case of infidelity, a wandering eye can be tricky to treat. As a general rule, identifying the problem early is a good thing, as is a conversation about the situation and the relationship. A couple may choose to pursue therapy to talk through the issues that may be leading to discontent, or they may opt to deal with the situation on their own. A person who looks at someone other than his or her partner does not necessarily have the intention to stray; some people simply have a natural appreciation for individuals they find beautiful, and they may be unable to contain it.

Ever since she began contributing to the site several years ago, Mary has embraced the exciting challenge of being a WiseGeek researcher and writer. Mary has a liberal arts degree from Goddard College and spends her free time reading, cooking, and exploring the great outdoors.

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Wandering Eye

A wandering eye is a type of eye condition known as strabismus or tropia, and it may be caused by damage to the retina or muscles that control the eye, stroke or brain injury, or an uncorrected refractive error like farsightedness. With a wandering eye, one eye deviates or wanders in a different direction when looking at an object.

What Causes a Wandering Eye?

The eyes contain muscles to which they are attached to, and these muscles receive signals from the brain that direct eye movement. Normally, the eyes work together so that they focus in the same direction at the same time. However, with a wandering eye, there is poor eye muscle control and one eye turns away from the object that the person is attempting to hone in on—either up, down, in or out. The eye that turns may do so all the time, or it may only do so at certain times, such as when the person is fatigued, sick or has overworked the eyes as a result of prolonged reading or staring at a computer. There are other cases where the eyes may alternate turning.

Because the eyes are misaligned, the brain receives a different image from each eye. While the brain will learn to ignore the image it gets from the wandering eye, if left untreated, lazy eye or amblyopia can present. This is characterized by a permanent reduction of vision in the traveling eye, and can lead to poor depth perception.

A wandering eye can be classified by the direction the eye turns:

• Inward (esotropia)
• Outward (exotropia)
• Downward (hypotropia)
• Upward (hypertropia)

It may also be classified in other ways:

• Alternating (the eye that turns alternates from left to right)
• Unilateral (always involves the same eye)
• Constant or intermittent (the regularity with which it occurs)

Testing and Treatment

To determine the classification, and in order to develop a treatment plan for a wandering eye, an optometrist will look at a number of factors to understand the cause of the condition, as well as how the eyes move and focus. This may include:

• Looking at the patient’s  family history
• Reviewing the patient’s  medical history
• Observing the external and internal structures  of the turned eye
• Refraction  – a string of lenses are put in front of the patient’s eyes and a handheld instrument with a light source is waved pass. This is done to gauge how the eyes focus and can conclude the lens power needed to correct refractive errors like nearsightedness, astigmatism and farsightedness.
• Visual acuity  – reading letters on distance or near reading charts to measure and estimate the amount of visual impairment
• Focusing and alignment testing  to determine how well your eyes move, focus and work together.

Information gathered from these assessments will help your optometrist devise a treatment plan, which could consist of vision therapy, eyeglasses, prism or eye muscle surgery. If treated early, a wandering eye can be corrected and vision can be restored.

The Different Types of Stares: Decoding the Language of the Eyes

• by Donna Gonzalez
• October 22, 2023

Have you ever found yourself caught in a moment of intense eye contact , wondering what the other person might be thinking or feeling? Or perhaps you’ve experienced the uncomfortable feeling of being stared at, leaving you questioning the motives behind it. Eyes have a way of speaking volumes without uttering a single word, and understanding the various types of stares can shed light on the intentions and emotions of others.

In this blog post, we’ll delve into the world of eye contact and explore the different types of stares you may encounter. From flirtatious glances to intense gazes, we’ll decipher the meanings behind them, providing insights into human behavior and social dynamics. Whether you’ve been curious about why someone is staring at you or want to improve your own understanding of eye communication, this article has got you covered.

So, get ready to unravel the mysteries of the gaze—beginning with the age-old question: “What do different types of stares really mean?”

What are the Different Types of Stares

We’ve all experienced it at some point, that uncomfortable feeling when someone’s gaze lingers a little too long. Stares can come in all shapes and sizes, each with its own unique meaning and intention. So, let’s dive into the world of stares and uncover the different types you may encounter in your everyday life.

The Awkward Stare

Ah, the classic awkward stare. You know the one—when you catch someone looking at you, and they quickly avert their eyes as if they were caught in the act of a crime. This stare is typically accompanied by a sheepish grin or an awkward nod, leaving both parties feeling slightly embarrassed. It’s often a result of accidental eye contact and can make the simplest interactions feel more awkward than they need to be.

The Judgmental Stare

We’ve all encountered the judgmental stare at some point. This stare is typically accompanied by a raised eyebrow, a subtle head tilt, and a look of disapproval that can make you question your entire existence. Whether it’s your outfit, your hairstyle, or even your choice of beverage, the judgmental stare lets you know that someone out there has appointed themselves the fashion and lifestyle police.

The Flirty Stare

Ah, the flirty stare, a sign that someone finds you attractive or intriguing. It’s the gaze that lingers a little longer than usual, the subtle smile, and the occasional playful wink. The flirty stare can leave you feeling both excited and nervous, unsure of whether to flirt back or pretend you didn’t notice. It’s a delicate dance of eye contact and body language that can either lead to a romantic connection or an awkwardly avoided encounter.

The Intense Stare

Have you ever locked eyes with someone who seemed to peer into your soul? That’s the intense stare. It’s an unwavering gaze that penetrates through your outer shell and leaves you feeling vulnerable. The intense stare can be equal parts unsettling and intriguing, making you wonder what the person behind those eyes is thinking or feeling. It’s a stare that demands attention and may evoke a range of emotions within you.

The Confused Stare

Picture this: you’re explaining a concept, sharing a story, or cracking a joke, and all you get in return is a blank stare. The confused stare. It’s that look of utter bewilderment, as if your words have gone completely over the person’s head. You may find yourself questioning your ability to communicate effectively or wondering if you accidentally slipped into an alien language. The confused stare is a reminder that not everyone shares the same frame of reference or sense of humor.

The Casual Stare

Sometimes a stare is just a stare. The casual stare is often unintentional and simply a result of someone’s gaze landing on you without any deeper meaning. They may be lost in thought, daydreaming, or even just people-watching. The casual stare is usually harmless and quickly forgotten, a fleeting moment in the sea of everyday interactions. So, the next time you catch someone staring, remember that it might be nothing more than a fleeting glance.

Stares have a way of making us feel seen, judged, desired, or perplexed. They can both connect and disconnect us from those around us. So, the next time you find yourself on the receiving end of a stare, take a moment to consider its meaning, and perhaps even offer a friendly smile in return. After all, staring might just be one of those peculiar human quirks that adds a little spice to our lives.

FAQ: What are the Different Types of Stares

Have you ever caught someone staring at you and wondered what they could possibly be thinking? Stares can convey a whole range of emotions and messages, from attraction to curiosity, and everything in between. In this FAQ-style blog post, we’ll delve into the fascinating world of stares and explore the different types and meanings behind them. So, sit back, relax, and let’s unravel the mysteries of human gaze!

When a Guy Looks at Your Chest, What Does It Mean

Ah, the chest gaze – the one that catches many off-guard. While some may immediately jump to conclusions, assuming the worst, it’s essential to consider context. It could simply be accidental or a result of bad posture! However, in certain situations, it may indicate attraction or a lack of respect. Remember, communication is key, so if you feel uncomfortable, speak up and assert your boundaries.

What if a Girl Stares at Me

Ladies are not immune to staring either! When a girl stares at you, it could mean various things. She might find you intriguing, admire your style, or maybe she’s just lost in her own thoughts. If you’re interested, it never hurts to strike up a friendly conversation and see where it leads. Just remember, staring alone does not make a love connection!

What are the Types of Gaze

Gaze comes in many forms, each carrying its own significance. Here are a few:

Ever had someone lock eyes with you, leaving you feeling exposed and captivated? That’s the intense stare, a gaze that penetrates your soul. While it can be intimidating, it often signifies a deep connection or strong emotions between two individuals.

The Coy Gaze

Ah, the coy gaze, characterized by lowered eyelids and a hint of a smile. This flirtatious eye contact speaks volumes without uttering a word. It’s a subtle way of showing interest and inviting further interaction. So, when you catch someone giving you the coy gaze, don’t be afraid to reciprocate with a playful smile of your own!

The Cold Stare

Picture this: narrowed eyes, a stern expression, and a frosty aura. That’s the cold stare in action. It typically indicates disapproval, anger, or icy indifference. So, unless you enjoy chills down your spine, it’s best to steer clear of those emanating a cold stare.

How Do You Respond When Someone Stares at You

When you find yourself on the receiving end of a penetrating gaze, determining the appropriate response can be tricky. Here are a few options depending on the situation:

Acknowledge with a Smile

If the stare appears friendly or curious, a warm smile can be an excellent way to break the ice and show openness.

Communicate Non-Verbally

Sometimes, a simple nod or raised eyebrow can convey your acknowledgment without saying a word. Non-verbal cues can help establish a connection or diffuse any awkwardness.

Confront Politely

If the staring persists and makes you uncomfortable, don’t hesitate to assert yourself. Calmly address the situation, express how you feel, and kindly request a change in behavior.

Why Do People Always Stare at Me

Feeling like all eyes are on you can be unnerving, but don’t worry, you’re not alone. People may stare for various reasons, such as finding you physically attractive, being intrigued by your unique style, or because they recognize you but can’t quite place where from. Remember, you’re fabulous and deserving of attention!

What is Social Eye Gazing

Social eye gazing refers to the act of maintaining eye contact during conversations, which plays a crucial role in effective communication. It shows interest, understanding, and respect for the person you’re engaging with. So, next time you’re chatting with someone, keep those peepers engaged to foster a strong interpersonal connection.

Is Staring Aggressive

While staring can indeed be intimidating and create a sense of unease, it’s essential not to jump to conclusions. Staring alone doesn’t necessarily equate to aggression. It’s crucial to consider other non-verbal cues, such as facial expressions and body language, to accurately interpret someone’s intentions.

Why Would a Guy Stare at You

When a guy stares at you, it could suggest various things—attraction, interest, or even admiration. Some may lack the confidence to approach or strike up a conversation, resorting to prolonged gazes instead. If you’re interested, seize the opportunity to make the first move or give a subtle indication of your own interest.

What Happens When Two People’s Eyes Meet

When two pairs of eyes meet, countless possibilities unfold. It could be the start of a beautiful connection, a fleeting moment of attraction, or simply a passing acknowledgment. The eyes are said to be windows to the soul, and in that brief encounter, worlds can collide, setting the stage for something extraordinary.

What is the Flirting Triangle

Imagine an invisible triangle formed between the eyes and the mouth. That’s the flirting triangle, a concept used to identify subtle cues during flirtatious interactions. When someone’s gaze consistently shifts between your eyes and lips, it’s a sign that they may be interested in more than just casual conversation. So, embrace your own flirtatious side and see where the triangle takes you!

Can You Look Your Crush in the Eye

Ah, the age-old question! Looking your crush in the eye can be both exhilarating and anxiety-inducing. Luckily, maintaining eye contact is an excellent way to show confidence and interest. However, a gentle balance is key – too little eye contact may signal disinterest, while too much can come off as intense. So, find that sweet spot and let your gaze speak volumes.

What are the Two Types of Gaze

In the realm of gaze, we can broadly categorize it into two types:

Friendly Gaze

The friendly gaze is warm, open, and inviting. It establishes a connection, portraying the desire for a friendly conversation or forming a bond with the other person. So, if you’re met with a friendly gaze, don’t hesitate to reciprocate and forge new connections.

Intimate Gaze

The intimate gaze is characterized by a more profound connection, conveying emotions and attraction. It often entails prolonged eye contact, a sense of vulnerability, and an unspoken understanding between two individuals. The intimate gaze can ignite passion, spark romance, or deepen existing relationships.

How Do You Do Love Eyes

Ah, love eyes – the dreamy, starry-eyed look that signifies deep affection and adoration. To master the art of love eyes, simply let your gaze soften, allow your pupils to dilate, and let your love and adoration shine through. It’s a language of its own, spoken without words, but felt from the heart.

What Makes a Person Stare

People stare for various reasons, including:

• Rapt interest or intrigue
• Attraction or physical appeal
• Recognition without immediate recollection
• Daydreaming or wandering thoughts

Remember, staring often stems from curiosity or genuine fascination, so take it as a compliment that you’ve captured someone’s attention!

What Happens When You Stare into Someone’s Eyes for 4 Minutes

As fascinating as it sounds, staring into someone’s eyes for an extended period isn’t a typical everyday practice, unless you’re aiming to spark a deep connection or participate in a social experiment. Studies have suggested that extended eye contact can create feelings of intimacy and empathy. However, it’s important to remember that context matters, and mutual consent and comfort are paramount.

How Do You Tell if Someone is Staring at You

Feeling the tingling sensation that someone’s watching you? Look out for these signs:

Unexplainable Shivers

Ever felt that strange, inexplicable shiver down your spine? It could be your body’s way of alerting you that someone is directing their gaze your way.

Intuition at Play

Sometimes, we simply have a feeling in our gut that someone’s eyes are fixated on us. Trust your intuition—it’s often more accurate than you might think!

“Eyes in the Back of Your Head”

If you catch people abruptly looking away when you turn to face them, chances are they’ve been staring curiously. The classic “eyes in the back of your head” scenario!

Why Does a Guy Stare into Your Eyes Deeply

When a guy gazes deeply into your eyes, it could indicate a profound level of interest and attraction. Direct eye contact shows that he values your presence and wants to establish a strong connection. So, take it as a positive sign and dive deep into those delightful gazes!

What Body Language Flirts

Flirting isn’t just about words; body language plays a significant role too. Look out for these flirty cues:

Smiling Eyes

A genuine, warm smile that reaches the eyes is a powerfully flirtatious gesture . It shows that the person is genuinely engaged and interested.

Mirroring Movements

Notice someone subtly mimicking your movements or gestures? It’s a subconscious way of building rapport and indicating their attraction towards you.

Playful Touches

Light touches or brushes against your arm or shoulder can be a playful way of breaking the touch barrier and creating a deeper connection.

Why Do Kids Stare at Me

Kids are notorious for their unabashed curiosity, and their stares often stem from innocent fascination. Perhaps they find your appearance unique, or maybe you remind them of someone familiar. Embrace their curiosity and respond with a friendly smile—it’s an opportunity to inspire their young minds!

What is a Coy Gaze

The coy gaze, characterized by seductive eye movements, lowered eyelids, and a playful smile, is a subtle expression of interest and flirtation. It conveys a desire to engage further without being overtly aggressive. So, if you catch someone giving you the coy gaze, get ready to embark on a thrilling dance of subtle seduction!

What Kinds of Stares Are There

Stares come in a myriad of forms, including:

• Curiosity-filled gazes
• Admiring glances
• Respectful acknowledgments
• Inquisitive stares
• Intense, soul-piercing gazes

Each type carries its own unique message, allowing us to communicate without uttering a single word.

What are the Different Types of Eye Contact

Eye contact plays a significant role in communication. Here are a few different types:

Brief Eye Contact

A short and fleeting glance, often used to acknowledge someone’s presence or to assess a situation.

Prolonged Eye Contact

When eye contact lingers for an extended period, it signifies a desire for a deeper connection or engaged conversation.

Averted Eye Contact

Looking away or avoiding eye contact can express shyness, disinterest, or discomfort. It’s crucial to respect and interpret these signals accordingly.

What is an Intense Stare

When someone intently locks eyes with you, undisturbed by their surroundings, it’s the intense stare making its grand appearance. This piercing gaze symbolizes a profound connection, often experienced between individuals harboring strong emotions. Brace yourself for an enchanting encounter that words alone can’t capture!

How Do You Give a Cold Stare

If you wish to master the art of delivering a cold stare, follow these steps:

• Maintain a stern expression, allowing your eyes to narrow slightly.
• Avoid any warmth or friendliness in your gaze. Let your eyes radiate the icy indifference you desire to convey.
• Hold eye contact without wavering. Show no signs of vulnerability or discomfort.
• Remember, the cold stare is a tool to express disapproval or indifference, so use it sparingly and responsibly.

Stares can be both captivating and puzzling, unveiling a wide range of emotions and intentions. From friendly gestures to intense connections, the world of gaze is diverse and unique for each individual. Embrace the power of eye contact, use it wisely, and don’t be afraid to meet someone’s gaze head-on. Remember, the eyes truly are windows to the soul, revealing the unspoken language that connects us all. Happy gazing!

Disclaimer: This blog post is meant for entertainment purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional advice.

• awkward stare
• body language
• communication
• different types
• friendly conversation
• intense eye contact
• intense gazes
• occasional playful wink
• romantic connection
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Donna Gonzalez

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What It Really Means For The Relationship When Your Partner Has A Wandering Eye

• https://thoughtcatalog.com/?p=780306

I don’t know how many times I have been in relationships where the object of my affection felt the need to stray visually. I have tried to be a “one-stop shop” in my relationships however it seems that the men I date are visually hard wired to look at other men with lust and desire spewing from their gaze. I get it we are guys, we are visual, we look, blah blah blah. However we are human beings with the built in capacity for self-control and empathy.

It’s really heartbreaking and mildly confusing knowing that the one you want to be with wants to be with someone else. This is the message sent when your partner looks at another person with lust in their eyes.

I am of the belief that a wandering eye leads to a wandering heart and where the heart goes the body is sure to follow and to be honest I was spot on in my assessment. Those who I dated that possessed a wandering eye inevitably cheated on me. Now based on my tried and true lived-through relational traumas, a wandering eye is just an early sign of relational doom. The beginning of the end if you will. Where there is smoke, there is usually fire and I try my best now to abandon those emotional burning buildings before they go up in flames.

A relationship with a person who has a wandering eye is really no relationship at all. It is really just two people killing time trying to be less alone justifying love in an effort to avoid psychosocial failures.

Our culture has done extensive research on the costs of physical infidelity as well as emotional infidelity however we have rarely, if ever heard about the consequences of what I’d like to call “visual infidelity” and what that does to a relationship. We always tend to write it off as innocent curiosity and harmless fun. But looking at another with desire and lustful curiosity while in the confines of a mutually loving and supportive relationship can indeed erode the trust in our relationship and ultimately incite us to cheat on our partners.

Knowing that our partners find others attractive is completely understandable. We are human and are blessed with the ability to recognize and appreciate beauty. However when our gaze becomes lust-driven and is littered with a longing quality, this is when simple appreciation becomes complicated adoration.

Not only does it erode our satisfaction with our current relationship, it also makes our partners feel inadequate, unworthy and dangerously insufficient. It is the first sign of emotional abandonment and disengagement in a relationship and gradually erodes the trust we have in our partners ability to be faithful and loyal to us.

Oftentimes partners will try to justify their toxic gaze with attacks on their partner’s level of security within themselves and the relationship. They will claim that if their partners are bothered by their wandering eye, it is because they are somehow insecure and unsure of themselves. I will not rule this out as a possibility as sometimes our partners do struggle with feelings of low self-esteem and personal inadequacies that have nothing to do with our actions, however let me make it very clear: some behaviors such as looking at another person with lustful desire while in a perfectly healthy and functioning relationship is NOT ok. It can be triggering and can make our partners feel like they are not enough.

In a healthy relationship , our goal is to make our partners feel like they are valued, respected, cherished, wanted and loved.

It is not ok to blame them or shame them or make it seem as though it is “their feelings” that are the problem when in actuality it is the wandering eye that is the problem. Claiming that our partners are somehow insufficient because they refuse to tolerate such behaviors only creates a climate of emotional abandonment and works to perpetuate the cycle of distrust and only adds wood to the fires of insecurity and doubt within the relationship.

Truth is we all find people attractive in one way or another. We all can appreciate the fundamentals of beauty. However when we decide to be in a relationship with someone else, there are certain things that we must be willing to give up in order to realize the full potential of a loving and supportive bond.

About the author

A fun-loving creative soul who enjoys various forms of expression.

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Lazy eye (amblyopia)

On this page, when to see a doctor, risk factors, complications.

Lazy eye (amblyopia) is reduced vision in one eye caused by abnormal visual development early in life. The weaker — or lazy — eye often wanders inward or outward.

Amblyopia generally develops from birth up to age 7 years. It is the leading cause of decreased vision among children. Rarely, lazy eye affects both eyes.

Early diagnosis and treatment can help prevent long-term problems with your child's vision. The eye with poorer vision can usually be corrected with glasses or contact lenses, or patching therapy.

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• A Book: Mayo Clinic Guide to Your Baby's First Years

Signs and symptoms of lazy eye include:

• An eye that wanders inward or outward
• Eyes that appear to not work together
• Poor depth perception
• Squinting or shutting an eye
• Head tilting
• Abnormal results of vision screening tests

Sometimes lazy eye is not evident without an eye exam.

See your child's doctor if you notice his or her eye wandering after the first few weeks of life. A vision check is especially important if there's a family history of crossed eyes, childhood cataracts or other eye conditions.

For all children, a complete eye exam is recommended between ages 3 and 5.

Lazy eye develops because of abnormal visual experience early in life that changes the nerve pathways between a thin layer of tissue (retina) at the back of the eye and the brain. The weaker eye receives fewer visual signals. Eventually, the eyes' ability to work together decreases, and the brain suppresses or ignores input from the weaker eye.

Anything that blurs a child's vision or causes the eyes to cross or turn out can result in lazy eye. Common causes of the condition include:

• Muscle imbalance (strabismus amblyopia). The most common cause of lazy eye is an imbalance in the muscles that position the eyes. This imbalance can cause the eyes to cross in or turn out, and prevents them from working together.

Difference in sharpness of vision between the eyes (refractive amblyopia). A significant difference between the prescriptions in each eye — often due to farsightedness but sometimes to nearsightedness or an uneven surface curve of the eye (astigmatism) — can result in lazy eye.

Glasses or contact lenses are typically used to correct these refractive problems. In some children lazy eye is caused by a combination of strabismus and refractive problems.

• Deprivation. A problem with one eye — such as a cloudy area in the lens (cataract) — can prohibit clear vision in that eye. Deprivation amblyopia in infancy requires urgent treatment to prevent permanent vision loss. It's often the most severe type of amblyopia.

Factors associated with an increased risk of lazy eye include:

• Premature birth
• Small size at birth
• Family history of lazy eye
• Developmental disabilities

Untreated, lazy eye can cause permanent vision loss.

Aug 14, 2021

• Coats DK, et al. Amblyopia in children: Classification, screening, and evaluation. https://www.uptodate.com/contents/search. Accessed June 8, 2021.
• AskMayoExpert. Amblyopia. Mayo Clinic; 2021.
• Amblyopia. National Eye Institute. https://www.nei.nih.gov/learn-about-eye-health/eye-conditions-and-diseases/amblyopia-lazy-eye. Accessed June 8, 2021.
• Amblyopia preferred practice pattern. American Academy of Ophthalmology. https://www.aao.org/preferred-practice-pattern/amblyopia-ppp-2017. Accessed June 8, 2021.
• Coats DK, et al. Amblyopia in children: Management and outcome. https://www.uptodate.com/contents/search. Accessed June 8, 2021.
• Diseases & Conditions
• Lazy eye (amblyopia) symptoms & causes

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Once you're in a relationship, it's totally understandable to want your partner to think you are the hottest person on the planet. And surely, they do. But there are literally tons of attractive people your bae is going to come across on a daily basis, and although a glance or two can be harmless, it's still totally normal to be concerned you're missing the signs your partner has a wandering eye . The thing is, being in a relationship doesn't make you oblivious to other attractive people, so, is this actually something you need to be worried about?

Well, it depends. It's worth noting that looking at someone who's attractive and perhaps even engaging them in conversation is different than anything that would physically be defined as cheating. Although, the definition of "cheating" can and often does vary from relationship to relationship.

It might sound surprising, but according to a study published in the U.S. National Library Of Medicine, it only takes about 100 milliseconds of gazing for the average person to decide if someone is a potential sexual partner. That's less than a second, which is far from the obvious ogling that most people associate with a "wandering eye". I spoke with Brooklyn-based dating expert Demetrius Figueroa to figure out the common signs your partner is window shopping, and how to tell if it's harmless or leading to more risqué behavior.

01 You catch them looking at other attractive people.

"I think the earliest and most obvious sign that your partner has wandering eyes is when you catch them checking other people out," Figueroa tells Elite Daily. "The reality is that even the most faithful person in the world will notice when an attractive person enters their line of sight. It doesn’t make them more likely to cheat."

Now, if they're constantly drooling at others in your presence and it makes you feel uncomfortable, then there's nothing wrong with bringing it up. Even if it's awkward, you shouldn't have to pretend you're OK with something when you aren't. It's unrealistic to expect your partner to never check out a hottie for the entirety of your relationship, but asking them not to do it in your presence should be totally fair game.

02 They engage in some questionable social media activity.

According to Figueroa, having a "wandering eye" doesn't have to only be taken literally.

"You can have a wandering eye on social media just as easily as you could in person," says Figueroa. "If you notice a sudden surge in your partner following ridiculously attractive people [or] liking photos and comments that seem to be a bit risqué, [those are all signs] they’ve got a wandering eye."

But again, is this an actual problem? Well, Figeroa suggests looking at it in from a more pragmatic angle.

"Every cheater has a wandering eye, but that doesn’t mean that everyone who has a wandering eye is a cheater," explains Figueroa. "Tilting your head when someone attractive walks by is relatively harmless, but going out of your way to leave flirty comments on social media is not."

03 They frequently attend events where there will be singles without you.

"You might find that your partner is starting to plan more and more events where they can interact with attractive single people when you’re not there," says Figueroa.

I'm not gonna lie, I'd be annoyed AF if my SO was going out of his way to set aside time to ogle hot people instead of just ogling me. Figueroa does note that "obvious ogling" is much more of a red-flag than "fleeting glances". That said, since there's no way to know for sure that they're going to an event just to look at hotties, pouncing on them for going places solo because there "could be hot people there" might not be the most productive way to address your concerns. Instead, it might be better to consider having a casual conversation about it.

"In the end, a wandering eye, whether it’s online or offline, is harmless on its own," says Figueroa. "A wandering eye isn’t a judgment of your attractiveness or a sign that your partner wants to cheat. It’s just an acknowledgment that other people are also attractive, as long as your partner isn’t acting on it."

Your feelings are totally valid, whatever they may be, so if your partner checking out other people upsets you, then yes. You absolutely can talk to them about it , and you shouldn't have to worry about them not responding well. A good partner will be receptive to anything you have to say. So if you're able to talk about your feels and address concerns in a non-accusatory way, this is almost always a good route to go.

Check out the “Best of Elite Daily” stream in the Bustle App for more stories just like this!

Pediatric Eye Care

Wandering Eye / Exotropia

Intermittent exotropia (eye wandering).

Intermittent exotropia, also called wandering eye, is a type of strabismus (eye misalignment) in which the eyes drift out (exotropia) from time to time. This is a relatively common type of strabismus in both children and adults. The amount of deviation varies widely from person-to-person.

Parents may begin to notice their child's eye turns out, especially when the child is tired, daydreaming, or sick. Parents may also notice their child closes or squints one eye when outside in bright sunshine.

The treatment for intermittent exotropia can range from observation, conservative management, to surgery. We typically choose to observe the child when:

• There is only a small to moderate deviation
• If they can control it well so the eye drifts less than half of their waking hours,
• So long as their ability to use their eyes together (stereoacuity) is good.

We may choose some conservative management like alternatively patching either eye when there is no amblyopia (lazy eye) in young children, or putting them in glasses that are purposely over-powered to encourage the eyes to come together in children until about age 10 or 11.

We can perform eye muscle surgery to make the eye easier to control at any age and may recommend surgery if:

• The deviation becomes large
• The child begins to lose the ability to use their eyes together (stereoacuity)
• The child experiences a psychosocial impact like being picked on at school

If you think your child or you have intermittent exotropia, we recommend they be seen by a pediatric ophthalmologist for an evaluation.

To schedule an appointment, call (509) 456-0107

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What does wandering eye mean?

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It’s most commonly used when referring to when you are dating someone but your eyes still look at other people you would want to date.

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The Danger of a Wandering Eye

A long-term study of newlyweds reveals the precursors of infidelity..

Posted May 14, 2018 | Reviewed by Jessica Schrader

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Infidelity is a major cause of relationship breakdown, and so understanding why some people cheat is an important area of research.

Of course, none of us is immune to temptation. Committing to a long-term, exclusive relationship doesn’t close our minds to the alternative. A marriage vow enshrines our intention “to forsake all others,” but it can’t render all others unattractive.

Psychological research suggests that we manage our illicit desires by tearing our attentions away from appealing alternatives (“Out of sight, out of mind”), and by devaluing the allure of those who nevertheless catch our eye ("They aren’t all that”). Those who report greater commitment to their partners tend to deploy these so-called “evaluative biases” more effectively.

James McNulty and his colleagues at Florida State University, in a paper published recently in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology , wondered whether evaluative biases have any effect on real-world behavior. Reported feelings of commitment are one thing, but actual infidelity is another thing entirely.

Are people who are able to still their wandering eyes less likely to cheat?

McNulty’s team recruited around 500 newlyweds (most couples were male-female) for a long-term study. At the beginning of the study, all the volunteers visited the researchers’ lab. There they completed two tasks:

• The first was a test of the volunteers’ attention to romantic alternatives. The volunteers were shown a series of photographs of attractive and average-looking men and women on a computer screen. After each photograph disappeared from the screen, it was replaced by a square or a circle. The volunteers’ job was to click one button if the shape was a square and another if it was a circle. Sounds easy, right? However, the photograph wasn’t always in the same place on the screen —each one jumped to a new position. And the shapes that appeared after the photographs were sometimes in the same position as the photograph, and sometimes elsewhere. The idea behind the task was that volunteers who find it difficult to drag their attention away from a face will be slower to categorize a shape when it materializes elsewhere on the screen. An attractive face is more likely to "glue" your eyes in position.
• In the second task, the volunteers’ tendency to devalue the attractiveness of others was tested. The volunteers rated the attractiveness of the same men and women whose photographs they had seen in the first task. A control group of single volunteers also rated the photographs. On average, the newlyweds rated the photographs as less attractive than the singletons did, which confirms the results of previous research indicating that those in a committed relationship are more inclined to devalue the attractiveness of others. However, each volunteer varied in the extent to which they devalued attractiveness compared to the average singleton. Some thought the faces were relatively unattractive; others thought the faces were relatively attractive.

Over the next three years, the volunteers periodically completed surveys about their commitment to their marriage, and reported on infidelity by themselves and their spouses.

McNulty discovered that those who had found attractive others more attention-grabbing were more likely to have cheated on their partner by the end of the three years. In fact, he could be specific about it: Each increase in the speed of disengagement of one-tenth of a second (about the difference between gold and silver medal times in elite 100m sprint races) decreased the odds of infidelity by a massive 50 percent . I’ll say it again: If you can tear your eyes away from a hottie 100ms faster, you are half as likely to cheat on your partner in the next three years.

Of course, we can’t be sure that cheating is caused by a wandering eye. It is possible that people who are distracted by attractive alternatives also behave differently in other ways, or possess certain attitudes or values that directly influence infidelity. McNulty also found that cheaters were more likely to report lower relationship satisfaction and to have younger partners.

Those who reported infidelity were also less likely to devalue the attractiveness of alternatives: If you think other people are hot, you’re more likely to stray. In McNulty’s study, volunteers who rated attractive, opposite- sex persons an average of two points lower in attractiveness on a 1–10 scale were half as likely to have cheated.

So, a tendency to avoid looking at attractive others, and to view those who do attract attention as less appealing, does seem to be associated with faithfulness.

Further analyses revealed that people who rated others as more attractive tended to be less satisfied with their relationships by the end of the three years. Also, McNulty discovered that volunteers who found it more difficult to drag their attention away from attractive alternatives were more likely to have broken up. (After three years, around 12 percent of all the couples had gone their separate ways.)

Volunteers were also photographed at the beginning of the study, and their own photographs were rated for attractiveness by a group of independent volunteers. When a woman was low in others' perceived attractiveness, both she and her partner were more likely to cheat. The male partner’s attractiveness was unimportant.

McNulty, J. K., Meltzer, A. L., Makhanova, A., & Maner, J. K. (in press). Attentional and evaluative biases help people maintain relationships by avoiding infidelity. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. doi:10.1037/pspi0000127

Robert Burriss, Ph.D., is an evolutionary psychologist at Basel University in Switzerland. He produces The Psychology of Attractiveness Podcast.

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